Sexual wisdom: a guide for parents, young adults, educators, and physicians

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Boulder Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship

Though difficult to define, love is a familiar and obvious concept even to small children. Five primary characteristics of love are introduced: respect, responsibility, discipline, commitment, and trustworthiness. The truth about sex is that all people are free to love each other in the most genuine sense of the term; they can be free from addictive, harmful attitudes about sex. In this way the two above principals are inextricably linked. Each chapter addresses a specific topic related to sexuality with reference to the "needs" and other misconceptions, and the priority of love.

The first specific topic addressed is whether or not sex without love is an acceptable, potentially healthy alternative. It is not, because sex geared toward self, without serious concern for others, is the extreme example of deprioritizing love. It is a rationalization used to justify contrived needs. The concept of sex without love defies the natural, holistic foundation of sexuality and contradicts the obvious reality that sexual interactions, whether a kiss or intercourse, are meant to express affection and affirmation.

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Examples and ramifications are discussed. Premarital sex is a lesser compromise on love than the idea of sex without of love. Its relative acceptability in the modern world is documented.

Because of the inherent risks associated with premarital sex psychological, medical and social to engage in it is inherently unloving. These risks are detailed. To say that a couple engages in it to express their love is incongruous because true love calls for protecting-fully protecting, if possible- those for whom we care about. Four arguments commonly used to justify premarital sex are addressed and the manner in which acceptance of it fortifies the "needs" misconception is discussed. While sex within marriage can be just as unhealthy as premarital sex, marital sex has a potential for health not found in premarital relations.

The sexual revolution has been a male-oriented revolution directed toward fulfilling male sexual "needs.

Sexual Wisdom: A Guide for Parents, Young Adults, Educators, and Physicians

The irony of mainstream feminism supporting promiscuity is discussed. The seven most common sexually transmitted diseases STDs are summarized in table form and statistics on disease prevalence are offered. Rather than confronting this epidemic, our society minimizes the problem.

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The primary misconceptions with regard to STDs can be summarized as follows: they are easy to screen for, diagnose, treat, and cure, i. Because our society has minimized the threat of HIV infection the epidemic of this most serious STD rages essentially unchecked. Multiple studies are reviewed documenting the ineffectiveness of the "safe sex" campaign. More realistic though politically unpopular approaches are suggested. Part 3: Sex and society. The conspicuous connection between the "needs" misconception and pornography is examined and controversies related to censorship, modesty, and our society's obsession with sex are discussed.


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There is surprisingly little discussion in today's society about the effect of contraceptives on attitudes and relationships. Contraceptives and sterilization affect couples' attitudes toward sex in significant ways.

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By allowing for spontaneous sex whenever the need arises, they reaffirm the "needs" misconception. By promising to eliminate the possibility of pregnancy, the risks associated with sex are minimized and sexual risk-taking is encouraged. Artificial contraception promises to give people control over their bodies and to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies and abortions, yet the statistics suggest that their effect has been the opposite.

This is perhaps because many people have unrealistic confidence in contraceptives, and so take inordinate risks.

Further, many people ask contraceptives to bear partial responsibility for their actions. To truly impact the number of unwanted pregnancies we must address the underlying source: sexual risk taking and compromises on love. Contraceptives encourage compromises on love in favor of freedom and pleasure.

The five characteristics of love are reviewed with respect to contraceptive use. Natural methods of fertility regulation are described along with a review of efficacy rates. Modern natural methods are as effective as oral contraceptives and the IUD. More significant, however, is the effect of natural methods on sexual relationships. These methods directly repudiate the "needs" misconception, and emphasize the priority of love. The five features of love are reviewed with respect to these methods, and misconceptions used to discredit them are addressed.

In its discussion of abortion, the text restricts itself to aspects pertaining to relationships. Many people mistakenly isolate the issue of abortion from its antecedents. If a woman or couple is willing to consider an abortion, invariably a serious dilemma has developed, that of an unwanted pregnancy.

Each chapter is a combination of scientific fact, common sense and moral value adeptly expressed in ordinary language.

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Could reach people who would not listen to anything less authoritative, factual, and well-written. Sign up! Get in on special sales. Be notified of new items! Don't miss out. It's FREE! How to reach people who will not listen I s someone you love involved in pornography, premarital sex, sexual addiction, or homosexual behavior?

It helps establish a life long family pattern of communication around sensitive topics. Families covenant to have their child attend all 8 sessions to promote trust and sharing. After the Orientation Session, the class is closed to drop-ins and new participants. This component is a session program for learning about and discussing the physical and emotional changes of puberty. Harris, and examine topics such as values and sexuality, communication and decision making. Each session includes a HomeLink — a homework activity for parents and children to complete together.

Parent Orientation on Sunday, September 9. Calendar available here. It presents a comprehensive approach to human sexuality in an age-appropriate manner and is based firmly on the values of respect, responsibility, justice and inclusivity. It helps young people apply these values to their behavior and provides them with information and skills they can use throughout life. It helps participants clarify their values and religious beliefs and emphasizes the worth and dignity of each participant. Participants covenant to attend all sessions.

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